Self-Love

Self-Love vs Self-Denial

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From the beginning of time, humans have always felt the need to fight for their place in this world. “What about me” is the common thread.

Self-denial doesn’t rob us of feeling good about ourselves. Nor does it rob us of being taken care of! It actually accelerates the transformative process of mind renewal/healing that enables us to be consistent in how we view ourselves.

I understand the rationale of the self-love ideology …it teaches people how to treat themselves well. Yet, that’s not the solution to building one’s confidence. All things concerning us must flow through Jesus …His love. Self-love is limited, it stops at …us. It’s fleeting, superficial, and it doesn’t have the capacity to flow outside of us. It’s selfish, self-seeking, self-rewarding and costs. His love, however, teaches us how to Him, ourselves …and others. Through His love, no one is neglected. Its fruit remains and allows us to freely give and be content in every season.

Jesus never told us to love ourselves. He didn’t prioritize self-love become He knew we’d enter the world with a self-centered heart. For this, He instructed us to love God and love our neighbors like we …already …love, look out for, and cater to ourselves. I submit, our world has fallen short of the former: Love God and your neighbor.

As Jesus was explaining and preparing the disciples for his death and resurrection, Peter told Jesus that it wouldn’t happen. Jesus rebuked Peter. The problem wasn’t Peter’s heart …I believe Peter had very good intentions and likely felt they could protect Jesus or couldn’t bear the thought of losing Jesus. Peter’s problem was his soul (mind, will, emotions) …he was leaning on his own understanding. Jesus proceeded to tell the disciples: 

“If anyone would come after (follow) me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Matthew 16:24.

Jesus knew, it would be impossible for us to completely believe Him, trust Him,  think like Him, and rely on Him if we rely on our intellect, rational, or feelings. This is why so many reject Jesus/The Bible or have a hard time resting in His promises …because their natural proclivities of self-reliance trump faith in God. 

The world applauds self-love, yet it rivals self-denial. Far too often, we rely on our feelings and own understanding of life rather than forsaking our way of doing things to trust God’s way. We can’t adequately love or serve others when we love ourselves more than others. Self-love causes offense. We become delutional in our thinking when we assume others should treat us/love us the way we love ourselves. God’s love, however, assumes people are broken, and rather than being offended, we respond how He’d respond. Furthermore, we can’t adequately trust God’s plan or timing for our lives we when are invested in self-love. Rather than resting in God’s promises and doing things based on His instructions, we try to make it happen! 

This is a hard saying because it completely goes against what feels good to us and what the world applauds. Self-denial doesn’t rob us of feeling good about ourselves! It actually accelerates the transformative process of mind renewal/healing and allows us to be consistent in how we view ourselves.

You may not sell our arenas with this message, but it’s a game changer! With such a strong pushback from our society on anything that rivals self-promoting messaging, this is what gets results! It’s also a sobering reminder of what it costs to follow Jesus …costs that must be counted. The greatest freedom, is a life lost in order to live unto Christ. 

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But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will lovers of self and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 2 Timothy 3:2